Up late at night worrying?
There are all sorts of things that cause stress for parents at night or during the day, especially in today’s world where some experts suggest that parents are more lonely and isolated from ‘their village’ and that parenting has become more intense.
Sure, there are the bath-time struggles and the fussy eaters. And, there are the kids who have melt-downs, won’t put their boots on or even get dressed to go to activities. But, it’s not always these things that wind us up. Rather, I suspect, there is a new phenomenon that’s giving us reason to pause—the stress of “gentle parenting” (the latest verb) and the subsequent modern-day expectations from all sides.
Research shows that parents worry about their kids getting enough sleep, coping with their social anxiety, the challenges of making friends, (especially post pandemic), low self-esteem, low mood and depression. Plus, lest we forget, the influence of social media. This is despite the fact that, as modern working Moms and Dads—and grandparents, we actually spend more time than the generations before us with our children. However, as one mum puts it, we don’t know when to stop. “We’re striving for perfection and that’s never going to happen.”
According to Alyson Schafer, a Kingston, Ontario based family counsellor, interviewed on CBC’s, Cross Country Checkup, “we’ve changed our perspective on parenting. One hundred years ago we didn’t even think parenting mattered much. Now, there’s a pervasive cultural idea today that parents should be striving to keep their children happy all of the time,” Schafer says, “we think our children are very fragile and that, as parents, we feel the need to worry about everything” … about every piece of nutrition, the correct car seat angle, (what happens at school and after school at the plethora of enriching activities we’ve signed up for). “The level of specificity, and the number of things that parents have to pay attention to has become overly inflated”.
Do you agree, with Dr. Schafer? Are we worrying too much? Does parenting need to change? Let us know your thoughts at info@bcsgroup.com.
And, in the meantime, we hope this new issue of Today’s Kids will introduce you to new ideas and new resources that will lighten your load, connect you with others and bring back some of the simple pleasures of being a parent.
Caroline Tapp-McDougall
Publisher/Editor
caroline@bcsgroup.com
