while caring for everyone else
Parenting is already a full-time job. Parenting multiple children, each with their own unique needs, is more than full-time…it’s a balancing act that requires creativity, and endless reserves of patience. Between therapies, school meetings, work schedules, family responsibilities, and simply trying to keep the household running, it’s no wonder that many parents describe themselves as running on empty.
The common advice to “take time for yourself” can feel laughable when you’re stretched thin. Who has the time, the energy, and the childcare coverage to make self-care possible? The good news is that self-care doesn’t need to be elaborate or indulgent to make a meaningful difference. What matters is finding small, realistic, and sustainable ways to recharge so you can continue caring for everyone else without losing yourself in the process.
Guilty pleasures: Many of us feel uncomfortable when prioritizing ourselves, especially if a child requires extra time and attention. However, neglecting your own wellbeing comes at a cost, not just to you, but to your family. In fact, research consistently shows that parental stress impacts a child’s emotional and behavioural health. In other words, your health is a critical part of your family’s wellbeing.
Your impact: Young ones are affected by the emotional climate at home. When parents are stressed, anxious, or depleted, children will likely sense the tension, even if nothing is said aloud. This can lead to increased behavioural challenges, heightened anxiety, or feelings of insecurity in kids. On the other hand, when parents prioritize their own wellbeing, children not only benefit from a calmer, more responsive experience. They’ll also learn by example. In other words, parental self-care is not just an individual act of survival, it’s a powerful form of modelling resilience for the next generation. Think of it as oxygen-mask parenting: you can’t effectively support your children if you’re struggling to breathe.
Beyond bubble baths: When people hear “self-care,” they often imagine spa days, weekend getaways and time on a beach. Those can be wonderful, but they’re rarely accessible to juggling parents.
Making self-care stick: Taking care of yourself needs to be:
• Practical: Something you can actually fit into your routine
• Flexible: Adaptable to your family’s changing needs.
• Restorative: Activities that give you energy rather than drain it.
Here are some realistic strategies that have been tailored for busy parents to try:
1) Micro-moments of rest: Self-care doesn’t have to be an hour-long ritual. Sometimes it’s two minutes of deep breathing in the bathroom, or five minutes with a cup of tea before bedtime. Build in small pauses that allow your nervous system to reset. For example, set a timer for three minutes,
close your eyes, and take slow breaths. It sounds simple, but consistent micro-breaks reduce stress hormones and improve resilience. Start or end the day with something just for you, a morning cup of coffee enjoyed before the house wakes up, a short journal entry, or a nightly skincare routine. These rituals signal to yourself that your needs matter, too.
2) Move your body: Exercise doesn’t need to be a gym session. Dancing in the kitchen, stretching before bed, or walking with your kids to the park all count. Movement helps regulate stress and boosts mood, even in short bursts.
3) Source social connection: Isolation is a common struggle for parents in mixed-needs households. Maintaining friendships and community ties can feel impossible, but connection is a powerful form of self-care. Even a quick text exchange with a supportive friend, joining an online parent group, or chatting with another parent at drop-off can ease loneliness.
4) Outsource where you can: Looking after what you need to thrive sometimes means letting go of tasks. Accepting help from family, delegating chores to older kids, or using grocery delivery services isn’t a failure… it’s a way to free up your energy for what truly matters.
5) Protect your sleep: It’s tempting to stay up late for “me time,” but sacrificing rest often backfires. Prioritize sleep routines, even if it means leaving dishes for the morning. A rested parent is more patient, more resilient, and better equipped to meet everyone’s needs.
6) Celebrate the small wins: Parents often measure success in big milestones, but joy can be found in the small
victories more frequently: a calm family dinner, a spontaneous laugh, a smooth school drop-off. Acknowledging these moments helps shift your mood and focus from stress to gratitude.
Present not perfect: Children benefit most from parents who practice self-respect and take time to recharge. Some people benefit from counselling, support groups and parent networks, mental health hotlines or talking with a healthcare professional. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a proactive form of care that can strengthen your whole family.
A culture of care: Self-care works best when it’s part of the family culture. That means teaching children to respect your downtime, encouraging everyone to find their own coping strategies, and modelling balance.
Imagine a home where each family member has a version of self-care: One child listens to music, another draws, and you take five or ten minutes with your book. It normalizes the idea that caring for ourselves is just as important as caring for each other.
Accessible, flexible and essential: By reframing self- parents can begin to show themselves the same compassion they so readily give to their children. Self-care isn’t a betrayal – it’s an investment in yourself.
After all, when you care for yourself, you’re not taking something away from your family, Rather, you’re giving them the very best version of you.
Photos: iStock. Brigitte Tohm, Unsplash.
